If you're an idiot, resist the urge to send I.M.'s
(Taken from an actual conversation, the bitch's name has been changed.)

Random idiot: whos this

BillyRVbob: That is a very rude way to start a conversation. It is only proper to first introduce yourself, and then inquire about my identity.

Random idiot: ok may i ask who this is

BillyRVbob: First, introduce yourself. If I deem you worthy, I will tell you.

Random idiot: no i asked you first

BillyRVbob: That is irrelevant, as you are at my mercy. You are the one wanting to gain something from this, so you must do as I please.

Random idiot: i know who you are

BillyRVbob: Then why, dear lady, would you ask who I am?

Random idiot: because i asked someone

BillyRVbob: Because you asked someone why you inquired about my identity?

Random idiot: becuase i felt like it..............do you know mrs.slob

BillyRVbob: You use far too many periods.............. Yes, I do know Mrs. Slob.

Random idiot: shush were you in her class

BillyRVbob: Yes, I was at one point in time, in her class.

Random idiot: do you like her

Random idiot: do you know brittany slob

Random idiot: ?

BillyRVbob: That's a broad question, and it lacks proper punctuation. Perhaps if you describe what manner of "liking" and punctuate, I will answer.

BillyRVbob: I don't really know her.

Random idiot: your wierd

BillyRVbob: (You're)

BillyRVbob: And thank you.

Random idiot: your poto grande

BillyRVbob: Du bist nicht klug.

Random idiot: what does that mean

BillyRVbob: Ich kenne nicht.

Random idiot: what does it mean

BillyRVbob: Never you mind. I don't believe I got your name.

Random idiot: so

Random idiot: :-D

BillyRVbob: Nice to meet you, So. Do you attend RV?

Random idiot: cant tell

Random idiot: :-D

BillyRVbob: You have a pretty smile, I like you.

Random idiot: ewwwwwwwwwwwww

BillyRVbob: Thanks!

Random idiot: you no what i like about you ....nothing

Random idiot: O:-)

BillyRVbob: I really don't "no" what you like about me.

Random idiot: you know something you very stupid

BillyRVbob: I enjoy your stereotypical Asian accent.

Random idiot: what

BillyRVbob: What indeed.

Random idiot: what does stereotypical asian accent mean

BillyRVbob: Think about what you said prior to my statement, I'll wait. If it takes over 20 minutes though, and I'm sure it will, send me a letter telling me that you understand.

Random idiot: gtg bye

BillyRVbob: Goodbye.